Story of Rasha
I am Rasha from Syria. I am only 17 years old, but I’m an adult who is older than her age. When I was still in Syria, life was like a walk in the park. I saw the difference when I got married at 15. Before getting married, everything was just like I wanted. I used to go out anytime and anywhere I want. I used to go to school. Everything changed when I got married. I couldn’t do anything I wanted to anymore. My responsibilities grew. My parents used to bear my responsibility, and now I’m bearing it myself. I am now responsible to take care of my husband, my son, and my parents in law. I am not capable to handle all of these duties.
Did I get married due to love? No, it was not love. I hear that love is a nice feeling, but I haven’t experienced it. He just came and proposed, and I automatically said yes. I haven’t loved anyone before, and now my husband? No, I don’t love him. He’s not good with me. He was married before me, and his ex-wife stayed with him for less than a month. My husband and his parents are not good people, so she divorced him. He then came to marry me. I heard that he was a gentleman; my mom said that I will learn to love him after getting married. Everyone convinced me, so he and I got married. The wedding was pretty average; it was in a tight tent.
The first month was a honeymoon period. The second month was completely different. It started with beating, insults, and all kinds of abuse from my parents in law. My father in law used to entice my husband to hit me.
I once decided to divorce; enough was enough. I went to live with my parents while I was pregnant. When I first got pregnant, I was really sad since my husband is not a good man. Maybe, if he were a good person, I would have been happy. I stayed there until I gave birth. I decided, then, to go back to my husband in hopes that he would change since he is now a father. Sadly, he did not change. I wanted to go back to my parents, but then my father in law threatened to keep my child. Now, I want to divorce him and keep my child at my parents in law’s residence.
I want to get divorced because I have not had one good day. There are so many other things to say: the list is endless.
When I first got married, I was so scared on my wedding day. I am getting more scared day by day. I get scared to talk. I get scared when I see my father in law beating up his wives in front of me and when my husband beats me up. He once slapped our 3 month old son! I am getting suffocated by everyone around me. It’s not working out. Even while having sex, I feel as though I am worthless. It’s really difficult, and I live in a remote village. No one cares about me, and I don’t have any friends to complain to. Only my parents supported me.
Every day is a battle with my husband even though I try to avoid arguments through shutting up or not answering back. I can’t even ask anything from him, he’d tell me that he needs to ask his father first.
A girl should not get married early on. She needs to wait until she’s at least 20 years old.