Safe Line/خط آمن

+961 81 78 81 78


Al Dar/الدار

+961 76 06 06 02


Men Center/مركز الرجال

+961 71 28 38 20

Story of Souad - إسمي سعاد

 

قصة سعاد

كنت صغيرة وقت لقيت الحب الحقيقي. حبيتو لفترة طويلة، لأكثر من سنتين. كنت أعرف إني بحبه من ورا دقات القلب. حبيته وحسيت إني بدي اياه عطول حدي، وكنت حس حالي ضايعة بس يغيب عني. بعدين صار في كثير مشاكل ومنعونا أهلنا ناخذ بعض.. كنت طفلة كنت قوم الصبح بكير افطر وروح عالمدرسة، وبعد الضهر إرجع عالبيت وروح إلعب، كأنو كل يوم في عيد. 

بيوم من الأيام، لقيت حالي مجبورة إني إتزوج من شخص ما كنت حبه لأني كنت حب حدا ثاني. كانوا يضربوني ويجبروني أقعد معه وشوفه بس كان يجي يزورنا، من أول ما شفته ما حبيته أبداً. رجعت بعدين تعودت عليه وبلشت حبه بفترة الخطوبة الي دامت ثلاثة شهور، وبس تزوجنا تعودنا ع بعض أكثر وأكثر. يوم عرسي، فقت الصبح ولقيت الكل عم يبكي وصرت ابكي أنا كمان، أخدوني عالصالون لحط مكياج وظبط التحجيبة ولبست فستان العرس. طلعت شفت الكل مبسوطين، وعم يحتفلو، بس ولا شي كان مثل ما كنت إتخايل. كنت مثل الهبلة، كنت خايفة كثير، وما بعرف شي عن العلاقة الجنسية، إلا بس كنا سوا بغرفة النوم أول ليلة. مع إنو امي خبرتني بس حسيت كأني فقدت ذاكرتي من كثر ما كنت خايفة.

الزواج هلأ مش متل ما كان مفكرة. كل يوم الصبح بفيق أنا وزوجي لحضرله القهوة وبفيق ابني حتى طعميه وغيرله. وبعدين بروح لعند بيت حماي ساعدهن وإشتغل معهن وإطبخ معهن وضل معهن للمساء. بيجي زوجي بحطله أكل بقعد معه شي ساعة. أنا كتير فرحت بس حبلت بابني، زوجي أول شي ما كان بده كان بدو يانا ننطر وناخد راحتنا. بس أنا بحب الولاد وكثير كان بدي. ما بتسلى بل نهار إلا مع ابني، هو تسليتي، كإم  صرت حس حالي إمرأة عنجد عندي عيلة ورجال وبحب قدملن الأفضل يلي عندي.

أنا هلق بحبه لزوجي والقعدة معه بتكفيني. إذا شي مرة في موضوع بده حل، منضل ناقش فيه، رأي من هون ورأي من هونيك تنلاقي حل يرضي الإثنين سوى، ما بلاقي مشكل معه، مشاكلي مع امه، هي غريبة ساعة منكون أصحاب وساعة منختلف.

حلمي وأمنيتي انو يكون عندنا بيت كبير مع بنتان وولدين. نفيق بكير، يروح زوجي عالشغل وأنا والأولاد نروح عالمدرسة، إجي درسن وأنا إدرس كمان لأني ما كملت للصف التاسع، ونرجع نطلع مشاوير. انشاالله بعد يتحقق هل شي.

Story of Souad

I was young, and I found true love. I loved him for a long time: for more than 2 years. I knew that I loved him because of my fast heartbeats. I loved him; I always felt that I needed him next to me, by my side. I got lost when he wasn’t around me. A lot of problems happened, and our parents forbade us to be together. I was a child; I used to wake up early to have breakfast and go to school. I used to come back home and go out to play as if every day was a holiday.

One day, I found myself being forced to get married. I didn’t love him; I was in love with someone else. They forced me to go see him when he was visiting us. My parents started beating me up to go see him then after all the physical abuse, I had to go meet him. When I first saw him, I hated him. I then got used to him with each time I saw him. I started falling in love with him during our engagement period that lasted for 3 months. When we ended up getting married, we got more and more used to one another. I woke up the morning of my wedding day to find everyone around me crying, so I started crying as well. I went to the beauty salon to fix up my wedding veil, and I wore my wedding dress. I came out and saw everyone around me celebrating and being happy. It wasn’t what I had in mind. I felt like an idiot; I was so scared. I didn’t know about sexual intercourse until my husband and I were in the bedroom. My mother had already told me, but it felt as though I had lost my memory from fear.

Marriage, now, is not what I had in mind. My husband and I wake up every single day so that I can prepare his coffee and wake up my son so I can feed him. Then, I have to go visit my parents in law and work around the house, cook, and stay with them until evening time comes. My husband then comes back from work, so then I have to get him his dinner and sit with him for an hour or so. Sometimes, I feel as though I am a woman with a voice, but this isn’t always the case. I was so happy when I first was pregnant with my son. As a mom, I really felt like a married woman with a man and a son to take care of and give them my best. During my days, my son is the one who entertains me.

I really do love my husband. Sitting with him is enough for me. If there ever is any problem that needs to be solved, we keep on discussing it until we find a mutual solution that satisfies us both. I don’t find any major issue with him except with his mother. She’s quite weird: one day she treats me as though we are friends and the next we’d argue non-stop.

My dream and my wish would be for us to have a huge house with 2 sons and 2 daughters. We would wake up early for my husband to go to work and I would walk with my children to school. We’d come back home, and I’d help them with their studies while I’d also study since I have not yet reached the 9th grade. Then, we’d go out and just roam around. In God’s will, this will still come true.