Story of Jamal
I am an 18 year old girl. I have been married since I was 12 years old. I used to love my husband. We didn’t want to get married but we had to because people started talking about us. My father heard about us and was not happy at all. We got married, and we faced a lot of difficulties with one another. We got divorced for 2 years then we got back together.
We had a wedding in a ballroom, and I was really scared. I was very young, and I did not know what was happening. I did not expect this would happen to me. I was happy during my childhood. My friends and I used to play around the neighborhood. I really want to go back to how it was when I was a child.
Everything changed when I got married. Love as a concept used to mean a lot to me, but now it means nothing to me. My husband was my first and only love, but now he has anger management issues. He gets angry with me over the slightest issue. We used to argue every single day, and he used to beat me up as well. Now, we just verbally argue every 10 days or so. There’s nothing that I love about our relationship at all. Before getting married, I was without any care. Now, I am handling the responsibility of 3 kids and a husband. I have no time to experience my childhood or to go out. Now, everything is ridden with fear and depression. Nothing that I imagined my marriage to be like became a reality. I only wanted a son and a daughter so we could live alone with my husband far from everyone else. Nothing could ever come true. There’s nothing I could do to enjoy myself. I don’t go out; my husband doesn’t allow me to. I can’t talk to anyone from my friends about this, because they will tell him.
My life revolves around my 3 daughters. They’re the only people who mean a lot to me. I don’t care about being a wife; I care more about being a mother. It means the world to me. When I first got pregnant at the age of 13, I was really happy. I didn’t know what my pregnancy will throw at me, but I was excited that I will become a mother. I still love the feeling that I am a mother. I only want my 6 year old daughter to enroll in a school because no school is accepting her. I wouldn’t want anything else, because I couldn’t finish my school degree. I only reached the sixth grade. People’s rumors and my early marriage lead to my discontinuation of my studies. I persevered, and I still study whenever I have the chance to.
I was an idiot when I got married. A girl should be mature and know everything there is to know before she gets married, so that she won’t get nervous or be surprised of what might come. I didn’t know anything. I did not know neither about sex nor about birth control techniques.